Travelling Through Time
- Image by dmcneil via Flickr
Since we all have the power to choose from moment to moment, we can say that the future is not set in stone: the choices that we make today will influence the possibilities we will face tomorrow. Most of us imagine time as represented as a line. One person might imagine a line coming from behind, through their body in stretching out in front of them, others might imagine a line from left to right.
If we take time to create goals, imagine and plan our future we can visualise the events being placed along this imaginary line. This simple exercise will start to affect your life at the unconscious level — it may only be a small change in direction but speak to any sailor or airline pilot and they will tell you that that a small change in direction can have a big impact on your eventual destination.
I’ve heard some people say that the future is already written and that the life that you are living is your destiny or fate. I’m not sure whether that’s the case. Since we can’t see into the future, we still have the experience of having the ability to choose. The fact is, the future exists as a concept in our head. We only ever have the present moment. You might be saying “Hang on a minute, tomorrow I’ll wake up in my bed…” That may be true but tomorrow does not exist in this moment and when you do wake up in your bed it will be the present moment.
It’s an interesting observation that most of us live into our future and bring all the feelings of thinking about the future into the present moment. Imagine being at work and the next day you were going on holiday, already dreaming of the things you’re going to do and places you are going to see. Then you return to work after having a fantastic time. You may well be sitting at exactly the same desk at exactly the same time of day but your feelings might be very different between those two times? I think most of us might feel happy and excited the day before the holiday maybe not quite so happy to be back at work. I guess for some who love their work, and they hate holidays, those feelings may be reversed — but do you get the point?
It is relatively easy to logically accept that the future does not yet exist, and is not set in stone, since we can argue that, if we do this then this will happen, and if we do that then that will happen. But what about the past? You might say “The past has already happened, nobody can go back and change it…” but is that really true?
Well, we only have the present moment and we can’t see the past here in the present moment, but we can only see evidence of time passing. For instance, imagine walking along the beach and you turn around and see your footprints left behind — clear evidence of the past… your feet were once in those footprints but you can never go back to it. If indeed you could go back in time it would still be experienced as the present moment…
Time has left its evidence in history books, photographs, movies and videos but the past only exists as a memory and, as a memory, it is not set in stone… Our perceptions of reality are filtered by our beliefs and attitudes, not just in adulthood, but way back into childhood. Some of the things that you remember may not even have happened as you remember. Did the reason that your mother shouted out you really mean that you weren’t good enough, or was it merely that she was frustrated that that you were not doing what she expected you to do? When we were young we could often only see one meaning for a particular event. Now as you look back through your memory you have the benefit of all the experience gained since back then. So, thinking back to some particular events now, can’t you see many more meanings that might apply for those events?
Most of these meanings that we created from these events are more likely to come from actions by your parents and teachers, who more than likely had your best interests at heart. They wanted you to do well. They learned how to bring you up by how they were brought and commonly pass on their experience.
Most parents are proud of their family and like to be seen with well-behaved children, getting good grades at school and being generally obedient. When our parents repeatedly told us to: “sit still”, ”be quiet”, “don’t interrupt”, “do as you are told.” And our teachers told us: “wrong”, “wrong”, “don’t be stupid” etc. Is it any wonder that when we grow up we are afraid to speak out, afraid to make mistakes, fear of public speaking, afraid of what people think of us.
When I was young, my mother quite often shouted and yelled at both me and my sister, seemingly for any event. I’ve since thought that all she wanted was appreciation and respect, which I don’t think she received much of. My father was away a lot and, with me and my sister being so young, we had not learned the value of appreciation, especially since we were frequently being shouted at. I learned to keep out the way and keep quiet. I’d made my mother’s behaviour mean that I was the cause of her upset. I had hated being shouted at and had adapted my behaviour to avoid it. I spent a lot of time thinking that my mother resented me and I consequently spent a long time resenting her too. Since I later changed the meaning in my memory from resentment for her ‘wanting appreciation’, my resentment of her has changed to appreciation. Life really does mirror what we feel and what we give…
Considering what our parents and teachers wanted for us, do you really think that the meanings that most of us created were really intended by them? As you consider your memories, did they really happen the way you remember? Or can you now visualise that event in your memory and give it a new meaning? For this reason, and for our reality, then the past is not set in stone…
Having been through this exercise of changing past meanings once, it should become easy for you to relive some of your memories and have a different perspective. I remember leaving school at the age of 17, thinking that I was a fully grown adult and that I knew it all. After all, 11 years of school is half a lifetime at that age. I had a small idea of the universe and thought that life was like a simple game, if you followed the rules and did as you were told then that’s all you needed to do for a successful life. I wasn’t too aware of psychology or the importance of feelings: logic was the key to life — that’s what had got me through school.
Einstein once said “we are boxed in by the boundary conditions of our thinking.” And it’s evident now that what I perceived at the age of 17 was not the whole universe, it only seemed like it. Looking back now and remembering some of my thoughts from back then, I can now see beyond those boundaries as far as the boundaries I have now, 30 years later.
It is not knowledge that will give us the life that we are looking for. Knowledge only keeps us within the boundary conditions of our thinking. To go beyond the boundaries we need to use our imagination and creativity and accept that we can never know everything, since gaining more knowledge pushes our boundaries out further: like climbing a mountain in the mist, thinking that you are nearly there but when you get to that point, the mist reveals that it stretches up still further — for the rest of your life.
For me, there was no magic revelation of other dimensions, psychic experiences etc, to bring me to a more balanced and aware way of living. It took the collapse of my reality in the form of an unexpected divorce. I had followed the rules and expected the rewards, but that loss revealed that my reality was an illusion. Sometimes, this is what it takes in order to grow and evolve. Although, great loss and severe shock is not required for such a great level of transformation. With an open mind and using a balance of logic, reason, Imagination and creativity we can explore new realities and understand that nobody else sees the world like we do individually.
Imagine a life understanding that everybody had their own individual filtered perception of reality. Would anyone bother trying to mould everyone else to their own model of the world. It’s a common mistake which causes frustration and grief. Once you are aware you can see the clues in people’s language: “you should…”, “you shouldn’t…”, “you can’t…” etc.